An Unexpected Path of Grieving

There was a time when asking for help felt like the hardest thing in the world. I didn’t want to admit I needed help. I put on such a facade of confidence and well-being that everyone always thought I had it all together.

But then I lost my sixteen-year-old son… and it changed everything.

There’s nothing that prepares you for the strength you need to recover and rebuild a life that has shattered into pieces of sorrow. You simply cannot do it alone.

I was stunned to see how people appeared at my front door to help. They brought food, organized my son’s service, helped with my kids, and sat with me even when I couldn’t talk. They just showed up.

And that’s what people should do for each other. Just show up.

For the first several days, my internal cries for emotional help were silent. I didn’t want to reveal how much I was suffering. I tried to appear strong and capable of surviving and holding my family together. That’s how people knew me. That’s what I thought they expected of me.

My friends kept asking me what they could do to help, but my unyielding pride whispered, I should be able to do this on my own.

My friends showed up anyway.

It was a hard lesson to learn… to ask for help. When I did, the culture of my grief shifted. I felt supported, loved, and safe.

As I am now going through the loss of my beautiful husband two months ago, I wasn’t afraid to ask… and it has been an unexpected path of grieving this time. It’s gentle, it’s softer somehow… if that makes sense.

I have reached out and talked to people who have offered to help, and the response has been life-changing. Some people I hardly knew at all, but they offered.

Here’s a photo of me with my best friend, Melissa… together we have navigated my grief journey this summer. She’s been there, taking me places, showing up at my house in California (from New York), and texting every day.

What I’ve learned is that helping goes both ways… it makes those who help feel good and surrounds those who need help with love.

If life throws something unexpected your way… cultivate a team of those who generously offer.

Melissa and her co-founder Nicole Haase have created Modern Prairie for women who are in the second act of life. It was born from Melissa’s portrayal as Laura Ingalls on the beloved TV show Little House on the Prairie.

This community reflects so much of the comradery and values that the show projected for the 9 years it was on the air. For the last 2 years, I’ve been a part of the Modern Prairie community, leading a group chat for women called Heart to Heart. It’s gathering together on Zoom to have those important conversations about life transitions of women and redefining age.

Are you a woman wondering if it’s possible to live the life you dream? I’d like to give you this free email course, Breakthrough to Living a Magnificent Resilient Life. It could be just what you’re looking for. It’s simply 10 days, receiving 10 emails that will take you just 10 minutes to enlighten, activate, and move you forward with reaching your potential for the life you’ve dreamed. No webinars to attend, no calls, just emails to provide you with some thought-provoking actionable steps. If you’re a woman looking for some inspiration, Click here to sign up. It’s free and with no obligation.